Gambling Jokes


A guy walks into a bar and notices three men and a dog playing poker.
The dog is playing beautifully. "That¹s a smart dog," the man says.
"Not really," says one of the players. "Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail."

A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags.
"Where are you going?" demands the surprised husband.
"To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $500 to do what I do for you for free!"
The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags.
"What do you think you are doing?" she screamed.
"I'm going to Las Vegas with you... I want to see how you're going to live on $1000 a year!"

A woman comes into a bank with a suitcase full of cash.
She wants to deposits over a million dollars and therefore she is being sent to the bank manager himself.
The bank manager is interested and asks:
“Where do you get all that money from?”
The woman proudly says: “I am a bit of a gambler.”
“Really!”, the bank manger stunned.
“Yes. Just like now. I bet $10,000 that your nuts are square.”
The bank manager is a little stunned by the offer:
“Ten thousand bucks that my balls are square!?!”
“Ok, deal!”
“Fantastic, meet me outside at the parking lot in 15 minutes so I can check.”
So quarter of an hour later the bank manger is getting out to the parking lot,
where he spots the woman standing at a car with a guy in a suit.
“This is my lawyer, he will check that everything is legal and fair.”
“No problem” says the bank manager, opening his zip for the woman gives his balls a good long feel.
After a while the woman says:
“Well, I guess you are right. Your balls are not square.”
The manager is happy and looks over to the lawyer, who start banging his head on the car.
“What’s with the lawyer?”
“Oh, I bet with him for $50,000 I would have your nuts in my hand in 15 minutes